Squatting in Ranakpur Express

Squatting in Ranakpur Express As I am writing this, Ranakpur express is screaming through Surat towards Falna. My son Sameer is with my wifey (queeny) in Jalore. His school principle strictly told me today to either get him to school on 18th June 2010 or take him to a different school. "Yeh dharamsala nahi hai!" were his words. These words set me in a flurry of actions ranging from quarrelling with everyone who did not listen to me while sending Sameer to Rajasthan (I told you so!), to checking Irctc & makemytrip.com for all trains or flights. After wasting an hour & left with very less options, I decided to do the unthinkable! I decided to buy a ticket for Ranakpur Express with 250 waitlisted passengers. I had very well made up my mind. I need to get my boy to school! So I reached Bandra Terminus. At 1.30 pm with enough time to scourge a seat for myself. But fate was in no mood to play it easy. Not only was the general coach full, all the unreserved space next to the doors of the reservation coaches had been occupied. Luckily I was alone. My sharp eye spotted a small iota of space between the door & the corner. I kept my bag there to signify that this territory has now been occupied. I waited with bated breath for the train to move. This initial hour was crucial. Once Borivali passes, my ownership of that half square meter of floor space will be ironclad. Lady luck was smiling on me. A Muslim family & I were the only 2 squatters in that coach. But as u might know, old females of any family are fierce defendants in such situations. As the train left Mumbai boundaries by crossing Virar, I smoothly spread a sheet of newspaper on my sacred space & joined the family in the squatting ritual. I was met with the old woman's glaring scorn that threatened to burn me alive. But the thought of my son missing a year of school kept me rooted. But this is India. Just as I was getting comfortable, another squatting family arrived & joined us. These people blocked the access of the sole washbasin outside the loo & were oblivious to the cursing of fellow passengers. Now the passage was jam-packed with no room to maneuver. But I felt at home. The mumbai locals had trained me well. I just realized that in this world, if u leave a gap, someone will fill it. I was in no mood to let that happen.\ While making conversations with the older members, I subtly kept on kicking the pesky kids who were close to sitting in my lap. I also found out that u cannot board a train with a waitlisted E-ticket. But you can do so with a waitlisted I-ticket. The 2nd family was promptly shown the door at Vapi by the TT. I may now sound sic, but we had more space! I was exuberant. Just then a pot-bellied man with a strict look entered our cabin. He told one of the kids of the family to get down from the TT's seat & merrily sat on it. The old aunty was livid! How dare someone encroach their land?! Along came a hurl of angry remarks which did not go well with the uncle. He reamed the crap out of the whole family. I noticed he was wearing brown cop shoes. I kept my mouth shut. Then aunty realized they were about to be disboarded & quickly apologized. Things cooled down. Then came Surat. Police uncle got down & having proved his authority, left with a smile on his face. I wanted to offer him tea but I don't know why. Anyways, I enjoyed my cuppa alone. The best was yet to come. The RPF staff keeps changing every few stations. The train reached Ahmedabad & the rush surged. In comes the strictest looking police officer. He just tore the crowding people apart with his rough demanor. Everyone ran helter skelter except for me & the Muslim family. Assuming that I was with them, he spared me. But warned us to keep the passage free for them to walk for their night rounds. I spent the whole night in a foetal position. At 4 am, I saw an upper berth become vacant. I immediately jumped on it with my bag & spent 2 hours in joyous sleep. If some one says sleep is overrated, I will tell them to think again. Those 2 hours were the best sleep I have ever had! Anyways, the rest of the journey to Modra & back was uneventful & in fact enjoyable. This was my first journey with my son & we bonded awesomely. As I am completing my story, the train is heading towards Dadar & my kid is fast asleep. I ll wake him at Matunga…